Death of a Husband

Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.

Yes I’m blessed I have been comforted by the Lord, by the Holy Spirit and by God the father. Just like many people I have had my share of ups and downs, of storms and troubles as well as good and bad. I have had my share of problems and uncertainties that stretch you frustrate you and even grow you when you least wanted to be grown. Yet in the mist of all this God in his infinite wisdom gave me comfort. One of the most important times in my life where I needed God’s, the Lord’s and the Holy Spirit to comfort me it happened three years ago May 28^th, 2002 a day I will never forget.

May 28^th, 2002 my husband passed away suddenly at SAIT where he was attending a two-year course in Civil Engineering. He died on the last day of the last year he was attending and was due to come home that weekend, but God had already prepared my heart several months before by telling me in his still small voice that my husband and I would not be together much longer. The last weekend he was home a visit I felt that there was something very wrong and just before he left the house to go back to Calgary I asked if he was alright to which he replied that he was. I however kept feeling sever chest pains and thought I was having a heart attack.

When he drove away I had a sense that I was never going to see him again although I hoped everything would be fine. I went downstairs and began to cry out to God asking him to stop this pain I was having in my chest. I cried for him to take the pain away, to take the suffering away. Finally I place my husband into his hands and to bring peace into the situation. After saying this I felt a peace, the pain in my chest was gone and I felt the arms of God around me as I began to drift to sleep.

The next morning I woke up filled with a joy I could not explain and I went to work feeling like someone was holding me. I felt like I was walking on a cloud and nothing could happen that would ever make me upset. The day went by quickly and before I knew it I was at home cooking supper. I was so happy.

As I was cooking dinner I saw out of the corner of my eye a police officer I had asked to be a guest speaker in my library a week before was coming to the back door. My first thought was this is odd; he knocked on my door and I shouted come in, this is when I saw my friend Jackie with him. When I looked at him I said “A police officer at my door and in uniform this is not good news.” He replied “No it is not.” I could not let them pass the kitchen I asked for the news and it was your husband has died. The children and I had our cry and I went to the couch and my first thought was Lord is he with you. God spoke into my spirit with the answer “He is with me.” That one soft statement filled me with joy in spite of my sorrow.

In a course of a few minutes there was a flurry of activity and people. Another friend came and wanted me to head to Edmonton she became so insistent that I excused myself and went down stairs. When I got there I said “Satan get out of my house I will not fall for this.” The moment those words were spoken I heard my friend leave the house in a very hurried manner. I came back upstairs laughing and crying at the same time. I was crying in sorrow yet laughing because my husband was with the Lord and because of the small victory that occurred. The lady friend who let the house in a hurried manner came back this time there was a totally different spirit. We had a nice talk and the friend she brought later had asked her why I had looked so calm and peaceful in the middle of all this.

God brought me people who gave me great comfort and some who needed to learn how to give comfort, people sent me cards that were God ordained for they were ones of encouragement, hope, strength, and healing. Many of the cards had money in them which helped pay for some expenses. But the most remarkable things were yet to come.

That night once the crowds were gone and the children in bed the Lord began to speak to me. I had questions that needed answers and I could not sleep until I had a few of them, so I took out a book and began to write down what the Lord was showing me and telling me. Before I could sleep the Lord told me the basic things I needed for the funeral, the flowers (carnations) were to be shaped like maple leaves in the colour of red, a white cross of white carnations to be placed in front of the coffin and the coffin draped with the Canadian flag. The Lord told me to bury him on the field of honour and to have six honour guards from the legion. Taps was to be played at the grave site. The Lord even gave me that night the scripture verse that need to be placed on the head stone. After this I slept and the comfort and peace of God filled my heart.

The next day I kept on praying even in the mist of making arrangements and that night the Lord gave me a poem and my husband’s tribute and once again I could sleep in peace. The next morning I found a tape someone had given me and on that tape was the song It is Well with my Soul and the story behind it. I played the tape not knowing at that moment what was on it but when I played it I was strengthened and some healing took place. God quietly impressed upon my heart that he wanted me to sing that song as a solo at the funeral so I began searching for the words but that day I could not find them. I began to pray but I still could not find the words so I left it alone thinking that I would find it when the timing was right. A few more days went by and someone recommended a funeral home in Bashaw so I phone them to see if I could meet with someone as I made arrangements I began to pray that God would show me if this was the right choice and I would know it by the peace of God in my heart and my mind. After I met with them I knew they were the right one for the job. I went home sad but glad that one of the hard tasks was done. It was shortly after that I went done to my basement and began looking in the cupboard and what to my wondrous eyes did I see but a very old hymn book, with excitement I looked in the index of songs and found It is Well With My Soul. The Lord gave me two other songs that day for the people to sing I’ve Received an Invitation and Blessed Assurance. The service was complete except for a minister and a pianist which was found with the help of the funeral home. A wonderful United Church minister came to the rescue and a wonderful pianist he knew lent a very helpful hand. I thank God for those people. By this time my parents were with me and when the minister wanted to meet with me my mom and dad took a little trip to Stettler so I could be alone with him.

When the minister met with me he gave me a book that had scriptures in it and as I looked through that book certain ones would jump out at me each one told of the resurrection life and hope. When the minister left I went into my daughters’ room and began to play a CD and worship the Lord, it was toward the last song I was singing when my parents showed up; when I finished the song I turned and saw my mom see told me that she knew God had given me a sing voice for a reason and than told me my dad was crying. I went to my dad and as we hugged each other for the first time in my life I heard my earthly father say to me through tear “I’m very, very proud of you.

God had orchestrated every detail and made it so easy to do what needed to be done. During all this time the school was getting ready for the last class of grade nines to leave our school and there was a huge farewell planned for them. God had lead me earlier in the year to buy a special gift for each person in that grade and I knew that I had to give it to them personally so on Friday the day of the farewell my dad escorted his granddaughter to her farewell and I went too give the gifts. It was a day of celebration and the Lord gave us joy to celebrate with. I gave the gifts to each student and I ended up getting a gift of appreciation and an unexpected hug from a very strong willed student. I went home tired but happy and at peace even knowing that Sunday would be my husband’s funeral.

Saturday was the viewing and this turned out to be a very emotional time for everyone but we ended the day talking of old times until late in the evening. When I went to bed that night I tossed and turned because my mind could not stop thinking. I prayed for the Lord’s help for the anointing and the in filling of the Holy Spirit and only after this prayer did I sleep.

Sunday felt like the longest day ever so I spent it in prayer while still being with family. The relatives wanted pictures so we posed for some and before we knew it was time to go to the community hall for the funeral. We were lead down stairs to wait and as we waited one of my husbands friends came down to give us a hug and meet the rest of the family. She told me everything was perfect and when we were finally led upstairs I notice how perfect everything was. The cross was in front of the coffin and the maple leaves on poles beside it and the flag over the coffin had been placed with great care. I had felt led that day to dress in red and white which to me represented the blood of Christ and his resurrection.  The service started and hymns began and I sang along with everyone else but when the time came closer for me to give the tribute and to sing the solo weakness and fear hit me I had no strength in me and I cried Out to God in my heart “FATHER I CAN’T DO THIS HELP ME!” At that very moment I felt the Holy Spirit and the anointing come upon me suddenly I had the strength I needed by his power I was able to read the tribute and enter right into the solo of the hymn “It is Well With My Soul.” Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. The Lord comfort was so real that sometimes I think I have dreamed it but I know I have not dream it. It is true real, it embedded in my soul and He has comforted me in a deeper way ever since. Even now I feel his presence and hear his voice saying “Well done my good and faithful servant.”

God’s gentle hand rests upon you,
His loving arms enfolds you,
And he shelters you under his wing.

 I bring comfort to your soul
As none other will,
I hold you tight so cry your tears
And I will heal your heart and soul.

And though you’ve lost a love one
Be assured of this, they are in my loving arms.
And now I bring you comfort in your time of sorrow
And I will take its’ place if you let me in,
And a new life in me will begin.

V. Proud