Two Years to Live

Have you ever put a twenty dollar bill away for a rainy day and then forgot you had it? Then you are in the grocery store and, you are $10 short, so you put something back and are really embarrassed about it. A few days later you remember about the $20 bill but because you forgot you had it in your wallet -it was of no value to you. You had it all the time, but because you didn't use it -- it was of no value to you.

That $20 bill is like God's word. You have it but sometimes you forget to use it. Many people grumble that God seems to heal others and bless others and prosper others but He never does it for me. We begin to concentrate on what we don't have - instead of what we do have.

God has given the same Word to each of us -- His Word is for you as much as it is for me. The secret to receiving from God is to remember what you already have. You have healing and freedom and victory and authority and all the blessings of Abraham -- they are already yours. You just need to apply them to your life.

I grew up in a minister's home and heard about God's faithfulness all my life -- I witnessed healings as this was a major part of my dad's ministry and saw God's blessings first hand on a regular basis.

As a young girl of 10 God called me into ministry and was very specific as to what that ministry would be. Portions of that have already been fulfilled. God had a lot of things to teach me and I had many things to learn. I made a lot of mistakes and had some pretty awful things happen to me. There were times when I didn't think I would make it and wasn't even sure if I wanted to.

One thing is absolute - God's word is true - it never changes and God is faithful to His Word. Because of my upbringing and the knowledge I had acquired over the years - I kept getting that $20 out of my wallet, learning to tap into what I already had. IF we apply the scriptures to each situation we come up against, instead of APPLYING fear or doubt we will receive what we need.

I was told in my mid-twenties (after going to many specialists and trying many therapies) that I would have a maximum of 2 years to live. The doctor told me "hysterectomy or death". Even with a hysterectomy, it would only prolong an early death. Instantly, in that doctor's office, without a moment of doubt or fear or hesitation, I jumped up out of my chair and said - NO -- I will walk in here pregnant one day. The doctor then stood up and shook his finger in my face and said - "THEN GO HOME -- SUFFER AND DIE". I knew that God's Word promised me health and life and the ministry he had promised --and no one or nothing was going to steal that from me. Please realize deeply that it does not necessarily take 14 years for an answer or healing to come -- but in my case it did. That was fourteen years of a lot of pain and agony and times when I didn't think I'd see tomorrow. When the pain was the greatest I would groan out my praises to God, because it always feels better to groan when you're in pain. I would lay on the sofa and praise God for my healing and thank him for the child He had promised to give us years earlier. I was ridiculed, made fun of and mocked. Yes, it hurt -- but I knew that God was faithful. There was never any question as to whether or not I would receive complete healing -- the question was only when.

At the time I had been given up by the medical profession to die, I was also crippled and told if I lived, it would be in a wheel chair. Well, within two years I was completely healed of the inflammation that had been in every single joint of my body. I knew that God would perform a complete work.

In the meantime, we had adopted a son and in his infancy there were many days that I could not even care for him because of pain. I experienced many black-outs from weakness, pain or from various strong pain medications.

I often felt like a complete failure -- my husband and I were in full-time ministry, traveling all over the world and here I was suffering. Many times I questioned why it was taking so long - but I never questioned whether or not it would happen. I knew it would -- I knew I would be healed – I knew we would have a child – I knew God was faithful – I knew God’s word was true and I knew it was for me.

When we would minister to people, I could pray with confidence and believe for their healing without any doubt. I knew God's word was true - He was healing me and someday I would have the fullness of that. He cannot lie.

One of the most important lessons I have learned in my life is that the cost of disobedience is much greater than the price of obedience. There is a price to pay for obedience. There have been many times when the Lord has told me to do something -- whether it is to speak to someone about Him, or to pray for someone in a way that would be uncomfortable, or most importantly to keep my mouth shut when I wanted to share something, witness to someone or pray for someone when the Holy Spirit said - No, not now.

But the cost of disobedience is far greater. I have spoken when the Lord said to be quiet and really blew it. I have not spoken when He said to speak and really blew it. These are moments that cannot be taken back. The pain of the knowledge that I was disobedient is terrible. This is one truth that I keep tucked away in my wallet and draw upon often. Learn to listen to God and be obedient to what He is telling you to do -- you will come out ahead. He ALWAYS prepares the way and equips you for what He has asked you to do.

If I remember that God is always faithful and that if He asks me to do something, He always prepares the way or the heart of someone - then it is easy to be obedient. We have hindsight only - but the Holy Spirit has foresight. So when you learn something, tuck it away but don't forget you have it. God never changes - He is always the same. He healed thousands of years ago and He heals today. He knew you before the very foundations of the earth were laid. He knows exactly how many hairs you have on your head. That is how much He cares for you -- that is how important you are to Him.

Fourteen years after I got the death warrant -- I walked into my doctor's office -- pregnant. Just as I had told him. Just as God had promised.

The next 7 months were a real test of faith and perseverance. It was touch and go all the way and the doctors often thought that either the baby or I would not make it. I spent two and a half months in the hospital hearing the negative reports every single day -- then my husband would come in each evening and remind me that God is faithful, He would do what He has promised and to concentrate on that. My daughter and I are both here and I am here today in total and complete health.

The greatest miracle in my entire life is not the miracle of healing but the miracle that the Lord has taken away the pain, healed the hurt and wiped my slate clean. He allows me to live without guilt or condemnation. The past is in the past and He has set me free from it. He has given me the ability to forgive those who have hurt and been brutal.

There was a time in our lives when we had it all -- anything and everything that money could buy. I have also been in the gutter and did not have enough hope to make it through the day. But GOD was ALWAYS THERE. HE NEVER LEFT ME.

I know what it is to have a beautiful home and come home one day and not have one -- to have everything you had in this world taken from you in an act of vandalism. I know what it is to have everything but the shirt on your back taken from you, leaving you homeless and in heavy debt and even in fear for our lives. Not just one time but on two separate occasions. But God has restored all that was taken and we were able to forgive them that hurt us without any hesitation. Therefore we can be free of bitterness, anger and revenge.

I know what it is to have been physically abused -- beaten and violated and left for- dead in the streets. But God picked me up -- sent an angel of mercy to help me and restored what was damaged.

I know what it is to have a child for a full year and then have to say good-bye when his birth mother wanted him back -- knowing I would never see him again until eternity. At the same time knowing that the medical profession has said that there is not one chance in a million that I would ever bear children. BUT I know the promises of God and that what He says He will do-He does.

I know what it is to physically die and be brought back to life by God's healing power and mercy .

I know the depths of fear so intense that you completely breakdown and lose all touch with reality. I know the dregs of despair that you attempt to take your own life because you see nothing left to live for.

I know what it is to be persecuted for His name's sake - to the point of total isolation. I know the desperation when you lose family and friends because of someone's maliciousness and lies that you can't "fix".

BUT I KNOW THE HAND OF THE LORD. I KNOW HE IS FAITHFUL TO HIS WORD. I know what it is to feel His hand in mine -- to look down and literally see the sandals on his feet walking by my side. I have seen my guardian angels protect me when I was running for my life.

This is why I care. I may have walked the same path you have walked or are walking now. I am here today as a testimony of what God can do for someone. I no longer have a death sentence on my life. I no longer live in pain and agony. I no longer live in fear. I no longer suffer from guilt of the past. God has healed and restored and given me more than 100 fold. He has given me more than I will ever deserve. He has given it to me because He is faithful to his promises -- because I am his child and He loves me. BECAUSE I have learned to tap into what I know to be true and apply it to my life. What He has done for me He can do for you.

Never let go of what you know to be true. Don't be swayed by circumstances. Be swayed by the truth of God's word. His word tells you that He is your healer, your deliverer, your provider, your source, your friend.

Start spending the $20 you put away -- take out the promises of God's word that you know are true and apply them to your life. Begin to look to His promise to you and not to the circumstances that say it will never happen. Begin to stand firmly on the Word -- take your rightful position as a child of the King. Be encouraged that God cares about you intimately. He doesn't give up on you. He will restore what has been taken away.

Gloria